Black Lives Matter?

I don't know. Do black lives matter? I can't tell. I am sickened by how many people have to defensively scream in reply, "All Lives Matter!" Yeah? Kindly fuck yourself. I know that most of America's citizens say that they want equality. But we are all living in the same country and having the same stories relayed to us. And we are not all the handful of assholes who go around blindly demanding the innocence of the people who kill unarmed black men. But we continue to coexist with them. And we continue to allow them to be outraged when anyone attempts to have a rational discussion about where we are as a country. Yes. In fact, all lives do matter. But until we can all get on the same page about that, it really is important that we all focus a little deeper on the lives we allow our society to dismiss.

It has been six months now since we have been seeing this face in the news. I'm not kidding. When we were offered the picture of Trayvon Martin in the hoodie a few years ago, I could not let him go. And Tamir Rice is so much harder. This little boy was 12 years old. LOOK AT THAT FACE!!!  Neither of these children were doing anything wrong. After Trayvon was murdered and the trash that killed him was let go I honestly thought that my country was having an awakening. There were a  handful of assholes who I gladly put in their place, but for the most part everyone I talked to seemed to be pissed at work. And online. And then time passed. And then countless unarmed black men were being murdered by police officers. And we were offered absolutely bullshit stories that no one would believe. Right? Eric Garner was on video! And the people who were outraged with me about Trayvon just kind of settled into a nice, easy complacency in their world where police officers do no wrong. Being a thoughtful and useful member of society demands that you have a little more analysis than you will find in a lazy right v. wrong / good v. bad / black v. white argument. Sometimes you have to actually let go of whatever comfortable naiveté you have allowed yourself to live with and enter reality. You have to be thoughtful enough to process information with a depth that tells you that some Americans are racists and, statistically some racists are cops and some cops who kill unarmed black men just might be racists. And then you have to be outraged and demand more of your country!

Did everyone watch the same newscasts that I did? Did everyone who, undoubtedly, knew that GoFundMe accounts were created (and funded into the hundreds of thousands) for each of the officers who killed these men also see on the news that the mother of Tamir Rice ended up homeless? Which lives matter? This is your country! This is the country where you demand that all lives matter! Really? Then act like it. Have outrage because a child was murdered and his mother, who undoubtedly fell into an awful depression, then ended up in a homeless shelter! Admit that her child was murdered! Tell yourself and tell your children and tell anyone who disagrees with you that her child was murdered. The moment you allow yourself or anyone else a hint of hesitation here means you are not qualified to judge which lives matter.

You are the problem in America if you have seen that video and, knowing that you are looking at a 12 year old child who is standing there doing nothing, having no time to even register what is going on, is shot and murdered by a police officer who had been released from his former department for his immaturity and over-emotion regarding his desire to shoot his gun, you can find a word that doesn't mean murder. And you are the problem when you have no outrage after having heard the same news story that I did about his sister then being pinned down by the police officer when she went to help her dying brother; the brother that was still not receiving CPR or any kind of aid. And until you admit that this is the most tragic story you can imagine if your eyes are closed and that child is white, you will continue to be the reason my country is such a tragedy. And you will continue to be the reason that black lives, in fact, do not matter.

I have no information to offer anyone here. I have done no research and found no answers. I offer no recipe for anyone on how to make our country better. I am just pissed off and needed to rant tonight. If you made it all the way to the end and were hoping for a revelation, I apologize.