I, Carly, Can't Fucking Stand You!

Oh, Charles and David, you refuse to see what you are doing. I would be embarrassed for you, probably, if I considered you human beings. It kills me how gullible you think Americans are. I wonder if your present Trump debacle will be the thing to make you finally reconsider your motives? Maybe it will be the miserable support found for the sheep in skins of color or the sheep in the skirt? I don't know but I feel confident that by the end of this week you will start to realize that the dynasty you have created built on a foundation of dog shit has finally been assessed at a fair market value.

Today Carly Fiorina is the one to earn my ire. She is hard to take seriously because I know that she will not be in the race much longer, but the fact that she is only out there because she is a woman is the thing I can't bear. Really? You think the government should be shut down if the Regressives don't get their way in defunding Planned Parenthood? You don't give a shit about fetuses. I'm sure you don't give a shit about children. Shut the fuck up.

The (not so) funny thing is, they hear confidence coming from a woman and determine she would be a great way to get votes for the GOP because they think that is what we little ladies are looking for. Of course, we are wiser than they give us credit for (and we can open our own pickle jars, too) and the confidence they hear is the condescension we receive.

As Ed O'Keefe, a commentator on the Fox cable channel with the word 'news' in its title tells us, Carly Fiorina is the perfect candidate to oppose Hillary Clinton. She can 'distinguish herself' because of qualities none of the others in the vast GOP field have. Apparently, the rest lack ovaries? And mammaries? I don't even know a single variant beyond that and O'Keefe doesn't offer any.

I knew and cared little about Fiorina until May when she went to South Carolina to hold a press event outside of a speech held by Secretary Clinton. I can't believe that her objective was to embarrass herself, but I also can't tell you what else she accomplished, either.  I won't call it a nasty tactic, because Clinton does it often. The difference is, of course, people actually want to hear what Clinton has to say. Who are the imbeciles that planned this catastrophe? Nevermind... Its the same ones who believe that we need to have a woman on the right in order to feel like we are respected over there, too (regardless of what comes out of the mouths of all on the right, including their women?).

While on her trip to South Carolina to prove her irrelevance, I saw her interview with Andrea Mitchell of MSNBC live and found myself screaming at the television telling Mitchell how to follow up. Fortunately, she heard me (wink). First Fiorina rambled on about how all of the candidates on the right had to answer the question about Iraq (remember the one Jeb fumbled over repeatedly?) and that no one bothered to ask Clinton that question. And she has avoided discussing Iraq. Dumbass.

Then, this woman whose hubris helps her fit comfortably into the 2016 candidate field, tells us that Secretary Clinton isn't qualified to run for President even though she has been a Senator and Secretary of State by offering us, "Titles are just titles and talk is just talk." This from a woman who reminds us about her having been a failed CEO (she doesn't remind of the 'failed' bit, of course) of a major Fortune 500 company.

See Interview Here

What, I can only assume, these people on the right don't understand, is the fact that a woman who blinks her eyes and bobs her head constantly while the other person in the conversation is speaking means that she is both not listening to what the other person is saying because she is impatiently waiting for them to shut up so she can counter whatever it is she thinks they will end up having said once they're through, and she has already assessed her superiority over that other person. As a woman, I won't try to speak for all of us but I am certainly better qualified to do so than any GOP strategist, I can tell you that when you put that on the television and ask me to get excited that I could have a chance at leadership by that type of woman, I will reply with a resounding, "Ummmm. No!," like most women, I'm sure. Again, that is only the intelligent among us. Those sheep you have wrangled on the right who thought Palin was a good idea because she was all 'mavericky' and shit, they might want to be talked down to, but I bet even they won't like her much, either.

Here, in an interview with Mika Brzezinski of Morning Joe, which I will startlingly give respect to Mika for actually being the hardass she should be, Fiorina explains her profound superiority over Clinton because of her 'track record.' She condemns Clinton for really having had no accomplishments and dismisses the fact that Fiorina, herself, was fired from Hewlett Packard and the stories surrounding that. Her contention was that she was a profound success there because, shit, I can't type the whole thing, she basically offered a lot of statistics and numbers of percentages of growth which were all in direct correlation to the fact that she fired 90,000 human beings to create those profits. David and Charles, I know that you sincerely do not understand the minds of those in America who aren't your sheep, but I will offer you a hint and hope you don't use it against my people in the future: We are not fucking idiots. We can listen to her prattle on about statistics and understand that it is all due to scores of thousands of people being unemployed. We are on the left. We are here because we actually give a shit about other people. You will not get any of us to vote for your side if you offer us your talking points in a skirt. Only your selected base lacks the capacity to crest that shallow depth.

Over the last few weeks I have heard countless pundits from the right opine as to the necessity of having Carly Fiorina in the debates (I can only assume that's why the ball licking lap dogs at the National Review gave her the cover last week) because otherwise Americans might be offended by the idea of a group of 10 men all attacking the left's leader, a woman, Secretary Clinton. God. Damn. We are still stuck on that female hysteria, huh? Roll in a fainting couch, get us our smelling salts and I'm sure we will get through it okay. In fact, I imagine she will still come out looking better than all of those doing the attacking because, regardless of whether or not anyone wants to acknowledge it, the country is growing more tired by the day of having unsubstantiated rumors come out and linger for years after having been disproved. Americans who are mindful of the absolute mess the Regressives have created and continue to manipulate are finding it hard to listen to them continue to blame President Obama, and Secretaries Kerry and Clinton for failings which clearly came from the right. As we continue to educate our brothers and sisters, you all on the right will have to start with some new tactics. 

Might I offer some suggestions? Start with giving us women to admire (I can't imagine there being one in a party that promotes and perpetuates patriarchy, but maybe you have some I haven't heard of.). Build your party out of politicians with actual ideas instead of threatening them to offer us yours because we actually know they are too afraid to say otherwise. It makes it hard to take any of them seriously when they just spent the weekend trying to win your favor. Find a platform that isn't necessarily from the left, but at least not as far right as one can go without actually starting to bring to mind the atrocities of those hardest right regimes of the last century. Never forget, the left will always be smarter than your lot. And unless you decide to veer farther right and try to amend that the way your predecessors on the far right have done, you will have to start behaving as if your opposition is going to catch on and foil your every move. It really is all falling apart for you now. And you created this. All of it. You built a movement built solely on hate. You allowed that movement to hijack the Republican party. You forced so many distractions as to negate many of the accomplishments of the right. And you created the long list of those they were supposed to hate out of all of the other people in the country, which alienated too many (Hitler, lets just say, took more time with the same plan and had many more people who fit in his 'collective'). Fucking progress! Goddamned melting pot! I know, guys, but take solace in this, you are both in your twilight years and will be gone soon. It always makes me feel better, anyway.

Kiss Kiss,

Mean Progressive